you were not wrong for leaving
you were wrong for coming back
and thinking
you could have me
when it was convenient
and leave when it was not
- Rupi Kaur
I chose this poem from Milk and Honey because even though it is short, it explains an ongoing cycle of emotional abuse I went through for about a year. A cycle that many people in this generation face. We trap ourselves in these abusive relationships whether they be physical, emotional, or mental and wonder what we did wrong to deserve it. The girl I was with broke my heart 4 separate times. Every time after the other I knew what was to come. I knew she would leave for a few weeks and then come back, and then again in about two months. The cycle of here and there hurt more than the determination of the relationship itself because when it was over, it was finally over. The poem says exactly that; it was okay for the person to finally leave, but what was not okay was leaving and coming back, leaving and coming back. That is what does the real damage.
I love this poem for two reasons. First of all, because it is a prime example of Rupi Kaur's ability to beautifully express the hurt we express in life, eloquently putting it into words, when we may be unable to, but also because it shows vulnerability. I think it takes a lot for someone to open up on a personal level with their peers and because of that, I have a great amount of respect for you. While the emotional abuse focused on within the poem is in no way beautiful, the poem's power to help people heal if it speaks to them personally, is touching.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is so powerful, and it's great how you were able to use a poem that relates to your own experiences. I, too, was in the same kind of abusive relationship you described and I know how much it really effects a person. Two years, cheated on three separate times, then finally being left for someone else, took a toll on me. So I definitely know where you are coming from. But at the same time going through things that damage us are good learning lessons. I learned a lot for that relationship and I hope you did as well with yours. This poem can relate to many people in a lot of different ways, which makings it very unique. Rupi Kaur is a good poet, great choice and post!
ReplyDeleteAlthough the damage is something that cannot be reversed, it does heal with time. I won't get into detail, but I understand this poem. And I think that's what really hurts the most; that we have experiences as such a young age that allow us to relate to or understand this poem. The effect that ONE person can have on our lives is something I will never understand. It isn't fair that there are billions of people in the world, and one person can turn yours upside down, not by leaving, but by coming back; for the fifth time. What I really don't understand is that if that certain person came back, just one last time, I wouldn't be angry. I would be hurt; and they can find some kind of humor in what they do. It isn't fair. What really isn't fair is that they make you so vulnerable you might just let them back in, again. This poem speaks volumes.
ReplyDeleteI love how simple the poem is, yet it says so much if you have experienced what the author has first hand. If you have been through this tragedy in love then you simply understand this poem so much. I know you and I have gone through very similar things in our relationship and its a really tough thing to go through and although we know we should leave, for some reason its SO hard even though we are being hurt in the worst way. Its also funny how they think they can come and go as they please and get stronger through our weakness. Those are the worst kinds of people.
ReplyDelete