I don't know what happens when we die. I never have, really, and it's never felt too important for me to know. I can see a lot of different perspectives, but I don't know if I can comprehend or believe any of them. I see the belief that our consciousnesses are just within our brains and will die when we die, to rot with our bodies. That one is hard for me, because it's difficult to imagine an end to consciousness. I can see our life forces being recycled through reincarnation, into plants and animals and the earth. That one is difficult too, though, because it's hard to imagine being aware of the universe in a different way from the way it seems now. I really can't believe in any kind of afterlife; I understand why and how it works for other people, but it just isn't an idea that fits into my head.
I'm not scared to die. I've always felt like being alive as a human is kind of a burden, because of all of the societal and economic pressures that we've created for ourselves. On the other hand, it's a huge gift because we have love and art and literature and nature and the ability to appreciate all of these things. But I try to make my life speak for itself, and I try to stay present in my life at all times. For me, the idea of spending my life focusing on what will come after isn't productive and it scares me, since I don't know what will happen after I die. I prefer to be here, alive, and make the most of it while it lasts. I try to take things as they come, so that when I die I can take that too and not have regret or pain. I also think that this helps me in dealing with the death of people around me. I've never had a close loved one pass away, but from the deaths that I've experienced and from the idea of the future deaths of loved ones, I imagine and hope that I'll be able to accept their death, the missing, and the sadness as a part of my own life. I have no control over anyone else's life or death, but I can control how it affects my life. It may seem selfish, but since we don't have undeniable proof of the reality of anything around us or a concrete vision of after death, I see the only option to be an accepting and gentle way of processing the moment.
I think it's important that you can look at the different beliefs for what happens when we die, from a nonjudgemental standpoint. You recognize the flaws in each belief, but instead of just shutting every one down completely, you try to see the appeal in them. when it comes to your feelings about life and being unafraid of death, I find you very admirable. As someone who has a pretty big fear of death, I find your fearless approach towards the idea of death intriguing. I really liked this blog post!
ReplyDeleteOlivia, I think you're probably one of the first people i've met who believes that there isn't some sort of afterlife, and who's not afraid to die despite that. I think that it takes a lot of courage to not be afraid of death, and I admire you for that. I also like how you try and live in the moment and not stress about the future, because you have no control over it. Do you think that your ideals about death will ever change in the future? Maybe when you become very old, or a loved one has passed? This was a very interesting blog post and I enjoyed reading it!
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